I think that I just might have a problem setting limits in my own life.
I’ve been growing the blister you see on my pinkie toe for days now, and I knew it was hurting this afternoon when I got on the treadmill for my daily walk. About .3 miles in, the blister opened but I kept on walking and got that 2 miles in. After all, I’m not a wimp! I gave birth to an 11 lb baby in a kitchen, so surely I can handle walking 2 miles with a blister. Right?? RIGHT????
If this were a one time thing, that would be one thing, but I am seeing more and more clearly that I do this all the time in ways that are not helpful or healthy. Giving birth without an epidural when you have a medical reason making this course of action safer does mean that I willingly choose pain, but it’s sacrificial pain with a purpose out of love for someone other than myself. Walking 2 miles with blisters (I actually have blood stains in my sneakers from two other blisters) shows love for whom exactly? This wasn’t a pilgrimage. This wasn’t a march of love, or a race to convey an important message. This was pain because I was not willing to show myself the same kindness that I would show anyone else. That’s not love, and it’s not good.
Intentionally choosing pain without purpose isn’t noble. It’s not the sign of a strong person, but an arrogant one or perhaps one who doesn’t think that his or her feelings matter compared to some overly elevated concept of “obligation.” I think it is good to be willing to push yourself and give your all, but are my feet best blistered walking a treadmill so that I am more physically fit? How much am I no longer able to give because I am constantly draining myself in little ways that are thoughtless and downright wasteful? Pain for absolutely no reason is not part of God’s design for anyone’s life.
Scripture tells us that the feet of those who preach the Gospel are beautiful on the mountainside, and this would be true no matter how pedicured or blistered those feet would be. They are beautiful because they convey the Gospel. If my feet will be blistered and tired, I want it to be because I am carrying the Gospel with me, not because I wouldn’t stop doing something on my “to do” list just because it hurt.
A wimp and a quitter would be the last two words I’d ever use to describe you! (hello!…moving across the country/having a baby/launching a non-profit website???!!!). But what a good reminder for those of us who equate pain with purpose…
I know it’s not on topic, but may I suggest a new pair of well-fitting walking shoes? Two miles of walking should not give you blisters.
An 11 pound baby in a kitchen?? Nice job momma! You’ll probably like this article then: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7998417.stm
Also, the reflection was beautiful!